What do couples like Catherine Zeta Jones and Michael Douglas, Kevin Costner and Christine Baumgarten, Clint Eastwood and Dina Ruiz and Jerry Seinfeld and Jessica Sklar have in common? These pairings are May-December romances between an older man and a much younger woman. For many older men, dating younger women doesn’t seem to be out of the question. Younger women entering into romantic relationships with much older men are now more common than most of us care to think.
These romantic partnerships with a significant age gap are brought about not necessarily by a scarcity of men but due to the most part that many younger women really choose to date a much older man. They like to visit sites to find established men. If you want you can read the review of established men here: EstablishedMen Review – We Tested EstablishedMen.com – Is It a Scam? . You can check all the comparing & ratings to make sure it’s legit.
The girl who likes older men
Younger women see older men as more mature and experienced than their younger counterparts. Having been around for long, their experience in many areas of their lives give them common sense and insight to situations that younger men may not necessarily have. Women appreciate someone who has knowledge and experience to offer them.
Older men also may have established themselves financially and women find them more suitable candidates for a relationship since they are more financially secure. They may already have acquired assets and established business connections affording them quality time for their respective relationships. This kind of life can be appealing to a woman who seeks security and reliability in a mate.
Older men are also viewed as traditional in the sense that they will display gentleman qualities that younger men may not be very keen. They will hold out the door, pull out a chair in a restaurant, take the danger side while walking and of course pay the bill. Women find the consideration very appealing and will certainly feel appreciated and loved.
And since women mature faster than men, young women may find men of their age group unappealing. Remember Romeo and Juliet? Juliet was 14 while Romeo was 17 and yet, despite the age gap, Juliet proved to be more mature than Romeo. Younger men are immature and prefer dating younger women who are their equal in maturity. Mature men on the other hand, already had ample time to grow and develop, and is likely to complement the maturity level of a younger woman.
Younger women can identify a father figure in an older man – a mentor who will be a source of advice and comfort. Being wise in the ways of the world, they may have a lot more to offer in the pleasure department that younger men may still be trying to develop and perfect.
Daddy issue, otherwise known as Electra complex or Bernfield factor, is a theory that tries to explain how a girl who received inadequate fathering may trigger some sort of desire to seek attention from mature males. In a sense, daddy issues suggest that a female is not complete and seeks some form of fatherly relationship with mates.
A strong father or male presence in a girl’s life does have an effect on her self-esteem. Being appreciated and nurtured by a father figure, equip girls and women with self confidence that allows them to prosper in their relationships. Without that nurturing, girls may express this inadequacy by seeking out a positive input from an older man or a father figure. A woman working out this complex in her system may attempt to make her present relationships serve a need that was not adequately fulfilled during her younger years. This produces poor relationships with men unless and until a woman is able to reconcile her past father/daughter relationship.
Despite the psychological attempt to analyze May-December romances, there are a number of women who insist that despite their involvement with mature men, it has nothing to do with the relationship they have with their father. It’s hard to imagine Catherine Zeta-Jones looking for a father figure in Michael Douglas and she doesn’t seem to be banking on Michael’s bank account to support her either.
Nevertheless, experts do agree that women mature faster than men with males actually maturing only around age 32. This largely explains why some women can get along well with older men if they are emotionally of the same level in development. Whether or not daddy issues are present in the relationship, its success will still largely depend on the parties who are involved in making things work for the better.
Initially, a woman’s preference in mates may be affected largely in part by her family upbringing but the success of the partnership may ultimately depend on the choices she makes on how to make the relationship work.
The tragedy of outsourcing maturity, the downside to May-December romances
Women generally like to be pampered and taken care of and mature men generally know how to put their act together making them very attractive options. Their authority and sense of certainty gives an impression of reliability.
Nevertheless, for a girl who likes older men, things may not necessarily turn out to be rosy. The privilege of dating older men may make her feel sophisticated and privileged. But the price for such a dalliance may cost and prove to be very high. Older men have ingrained habits and are less flexible. And in the words of a society girl who dated high profile men old enough to be her father, they have a Pygmalion-like desire to “mould” you. Of which at this point, money may provide no consolation.
Then there is the issue of children. There are stories of older men who merely prefer the companionship of younger women, refusing fatherhood when it happens. The younger partner, if not so keen about her desires, may be prevailed upon leading to miserable and sometimes unfortunate consequences. In the case of one young woman who had married a 54 year old, she had agreed to forego motherhood and secretly felt wretched. When she got pregnant, her husband insisted on an abortion. She later filed for a divorce and is still childless. Children borne out of these unions may also stand the chance of not being able to see their father into their adulthood.
As time passes, younger women grow older and the men, more so. Eventually, they may not be able to deliver in the bedroom and the young wife may be left to hanker for younger men with pectorals who can actually continue all night.
Is age then just a number?
For women involved with older men, it probably is. Time may not be on their side but in the words of famous Hollywood actress, Mae West “It’s not the men in my life that counts; it’s the life in my men.”
Women who appreciate and prefer the oft intellectually stimulating company of older men, may choose to share their lives with an older beau over younger one who do not yet have the ornament of experience. They may enter into the relationship for reasons other than money and share their life like all women who marry the man of their dreams. Despite the age gap, what they get out of it may not be that different from what any normal couples does – a chance to love and be loved.